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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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So, I head over to the pub on Mierová Street. It’s packed, but I squeeze in. I order a beer, and as I’m sipping, I see the same breakdancer from the park! He’s in there, showing off his moves. I’m thinking, “This kid’s gonna be famous one day.”

Andy Warhol Said He Came From ‘Nowhere.’ This Is It. (Published 2018)